I feel like...

I feel like... Closing down this blog.
Then making a new one.
Will I be happier in there? LOL.
jkjk.
Cos I dun like looking at my archives and seeing the most boring posts of the 21st century.
Okay fine, nothing can get more boring than
"I have nthn to say. So I'll just reply tags. Bye all~ =)"

Gosh. Do you go write in your diary smthn like,
"Dear Diary,
Today is Saturday.
I have nthn to say.
Bye Diary".

Heck, and who keeps a book diary now.
Mine exists in loose paper.
And I barely even understand my thoughts at that time.
Comes with messy, emotional cursive handwriting. Haha x)
But somehow, most of them end up being song lyrics.
Well, no need to be looking back.
I still think my 1st and 2nd posts were awesome.
But it was damn messy. Heck.

I was watching MTV at my aunt's place earlier.
Britney Spears is quite interesting.
From Teen Idol to Flop.
Good job :]
And I actually forgot she qactually came from Disney Channel.
Ugh, Disney. That's where JB came from.
Haha, there's a pretty disgusting joke I heard over their "purity rings".
Won't say it out here. :x

Anyways, if you all are aware, this is a pretty random post.
Cos I'm taking a break.
While my family does up the house for HR celebs.
I'm typing away on this keyboard.
Everytime I touch a keyboard,
I feel arrows first.
Even though I don't play Audi anymore.
I feel the arrows.
Audi. I miss it, yet hate it.
Its made my life helluva lot better,
and helluva alot worse.
Please, it's complicated beyond words,
that's why the two sentences contradict.
Oh yes, another thing Zamma noted of Me.

"ismail, you're happy yet you emo."

That is a contradiction. And I do not emo.
I engage in self-thinking.
Would anyone like to hear my thoughts out loud?
The world will probably tilt further than it is.
Obama says goodbye America's four seasons.
Lee Kwan Yew goes why the hell is Singapore snowing.

Well. Yes more randomness.
And back to the original thing that's bugging me.
I find it harder to smile everyday.
Is it lethargy.
Or self-denial?
And no, you're not meant to answer this question x)

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I feel doubled.
I feel sidelined.
I feel wasted.
I feel hypocritical.
And I feel like going to study.
Or playing DS. heh x)
But I just don't want to affect other people.
I got my own problems alright?
Be with me and I'll laugh with you.
Leave me alone and I'll do my own stuff.
For this stuff is mine to handle,
You can say I'm too arrogant for your help.
But how in the blue world do I ask for help.
When I don't even know my problem.

Who I've Been Hates Who I Am.
Do I try to put rationale behind everything.
Nopes. I think I just wonder why too much.

It's all bad timing.

AND IM NOT EMO :]
Emo is a casually used term
quite often used in the wrong situations.
Maybe tired is more appropriate.

Smail Always,
Even if I dont